she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
