Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Randomize
