Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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