Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
