is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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