just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
