i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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