It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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