Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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