i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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