I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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