i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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