the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
