yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
