my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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