Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
