i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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