you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
