i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
