whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
