i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
i just had sex bonerless
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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