I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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