I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize
