already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
