I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
