I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
