I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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