Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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