We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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