but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
