South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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