ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
