I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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