So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
