We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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