There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
