I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
You made out with two different species that night
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
