marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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