everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Randomize
