YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
