Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
