I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
