DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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