i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Randomize
