I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Randomize
