I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
