i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
The air taste purple.
Randomize
