after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
the day after is always just damage control
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Randomize
