so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
handjob tips. give me some.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
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