Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
