mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
